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All you need to know about challenges related to sex.

By Muriisa Robert On:1 February 2016

Some youth have raised different questions and most of them, are about sex something that means that it is/ sex done all the time. Just sit back, relax and read. Let the specialist answer your question.

What's sex really like? And are you the only one not doing it? Does it hurt the first time? Do you have to worry if you're only having oral sex? Read on for real answers and advice on hooking up, your first time, how to know you're ready, and more. Q: The other day my boyfriend and I were hooking up, and he put his fingers inside my vagina. I was really surprised and didn't expect him to do it, but I let him anyway. While he was doing it, it started to hurt, so I told him to stop. Is this normal? A: What you felt is totally normal! Your boyfriend probably doesn't have a lot of experience and wasn't really sure what to do...which is why it didn't feel very good. Vaginas are sensitive and need to be treated VERY gently. More importantly, though, your boyfriend should not be surprising you like this. If you and your guy want to get more physically intimate that needs to be a mutual decision — not something that he decides on his own. If this is not a step you are comfortable with, let him know. Tell him, "I really like you, but I'm just not ready for this." Chances are he was doing it because he thought that it was what you wanted. Q. How painful is sex the first time? A. It varies. For some girls, there's no pain whatsoever; for others, sex can be uncomfortable. Some girls feel discomfort when the hymen stretches or tears, which can cause a little bleeding. Sometimes a girl may not be aroused (or she's feeling nervous or worried) so her vagina isn't lubricated enough for the guy's penis to enter comfortably. Lubricated condoms can help. And of course, couples should always use a condom every time they have sex to protect against unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). In general, though, pain during sex does indicate that things aren't going as they should and it's a good topic to talk to your doctor about. Q: Everyone says that sex is fun and that it feels good. I'm a virgin and curious is that really true? A: Yes, sex can be fun and feel good, but it's not true that sex just "feels good" across the board in any situation. It's impossible to separate the act of sex from the person you're doing it with—or the person you are. Because if you're not really ready to be having sex, or you're doing it in the wrong relationship, you'll be worrying about it way too much to enjoy it. But if you feel totally comfortable, secure, and cared about, and sex is something that you truly feel ready for, then yes! It can be an amazing experience. The best way to ensure that your first experience will be a good one is to wait until you are absolutely 150% ready, confident, and comfortable in your relationship. Q. How do you know when you're really ready to have sex? A. Sex is very intimate. It's not just physical, it's emotional too. It's normal for teens to have strong sexual feelings, but it doesn't always mean you have to act on them. You can feel physically ready for sex but not be in the right relationship for any number of reasons. Because having sex is so emotionally powerful, it's easy to get hurt. Sex is only part of a relationship. Other important things — like trust, mutual respect, and caring — need to be in place too. Finally, for all its magic, sex can have a downside, such as an unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases (STD). Q: Is it better to shave off all your pubic hair or to keep most of it and trim it? Do guys care? A: The best thing to do with your pubes is...whatever you want! Seriously, they are yours, so the ultimate decision is up to you. Just like you don't dress in exactly the same clothes as your friends, you don't have to keep your pubes exactly how they have them either. There is no right or wrong here — it's all about how you feel comfortable. And if you're worried about what a guy (or girl) is going to think, know this: Being comfortable with your body is going to leave a much bigger impression than what your pubes look like. So trim or shave them however you think looks the best. point want to have sex, just be sure that you're doing it because you really want to, not because you feel like you should. There's no magic amount of time to be in a relationship where all of the sudden you need to have sex with a guy. Take your time, and wait until you're truly comfortable. Q. I'm ready to have sex but I don't know if my S.O. is. How do I bring it up? What should I say? A: It's great that you're thinking about this ahead of time. When it comes to sex, there are lots of issues to think about, such as how sex could affect your relationship, what happens if you get pregnant, and how you can prevent sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Sometimes people avoid talking about these important issues because they're embarrassed, they don't know how, or they think it will make the mood less romantic. But you need to talk about these things ahead of time. If you're going to have sex, you have to protect yourself against pregnancy and STDs. At the very least, that means using a condom. Your boyfriend needs to understand that's important to you. Exactly what words you use to tell him depends on your personality and his. But you might want to practice saying the words to yourself or with a friend so you'll feel more comfortable having the conversation when the time comes. Q. What's the deal with masturbating? I feel so guilty doing it or talking to my friends about it. Is it dirty or bad for you? A. Lots of people have heard all sorts of myths and misinformation about masturbation. Some worry that masturbation may cause health or emotional problems — but that's not true. It's normal for teens to masturbate. If someone is masturbating so much that it interferes with his or her daily life that could be a problem, though. Masturbation is often considered a private topic and some people may feel embarrassed to think or ask about it. And when you're too embarrassed to talk about something, you might hear and believe things that aren't accurate. If you have concerns or questions about masturbation, have a conversation with your doctor, nurse, or other health counselor — they'll have heard questions like this before. Q. If my S.O. and I just have oral sex, I can't get pregnant, right? A. You can't get pregnant from oral or anal sex alone. For a girl to get pregnant, the guy's sperm has to get into her vagina and eventually up through the cervix into the uterus and this can't happen physically with oral or anal sex. However, if a couple has anal sex and some of the guy's sperm ends up near the opening to the girl's vagina, there is a chance she could get pregnant. Although you can't get pregnant from oral and anal sex, you can still get STDs like herpes and HIV (the virus that causes AIDS). So if you're having oral or anal sex, always use a condom. Q. My boyfriend wants to have sex but I'm not ready. What should I do? A: It's common in relationships for one person to want sex when the other isn't ready. So talk to your boyfriend and let him know your feelings. If he cares about you, he'll listen. And if he tries to talk you out of your feelings or convince you that you're wrong, then he may not be the right guy for you. Let your boyfriend know what you are comfortable with and what you're not ready for. Mutual respect is the foundation of a good relationship. If your boyfriend is the understanding, caring guy you hope he is, he won't try to pressure you. {{By Robert Muriisa.}}

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