I do not have a life of my own and it’s really eating me deep. Have you ever felt like sharing a secret? One you know could destroy your total existence?
I’m not sharing this because I want you to be moved or perhaps feel I need mental support, I just need your genuine advice.
During my revelation here, I said to myself “what do I have to loose, my identity will be protected and I expect them to respect it”
I was 9 when my mother passed away… what ever killed her, I don’t have an idea all I know was on that faithful day my dad yelled repeatedly that I get water and the car keys. I was young and also the only child, my mum always thought my dad spoilt me with gifts and for that I hated her. More so, when my dad told me she wasn’t coming back again, I smiled… deep down I was happy.
Three month after she died my dad’s love increased but then it got really intimate… I felt in love with my dad. At thirteen, I began developing urges and my dad was the closest I could talk to. Few months after my birthday my dad kissed me, it was really not the same kiss he always gave me, this time he said I reminded him of my mum. I was pleased and I kissed him back, same night about 11pm I was de flowered, although it was painful but I still wanted more of it somehow. I never told anyone, there wasn’t even anyone close enough to tell except my dad.
Our affair has been on until I met someone, I won’t mention his name cause he might just figure out.
He’s been good to me and honestly I’m beginning to have a separate feeling, different from what I felt for my dad.
I’m 26 now, for 2 years now I’ve been with him and stopped sleeping with my father. In a way my father agrees that I’m old enough to know what I Truly want .
Few days back on valentines day he proposed and I’ve never felt this happy in my life.
Now my challenge, he looked me in the eye and said “don’t ever keep anything from me, not even the tiniest secrets” I feel like he knows, may be sees through me.
Please help me out. What should I do? Should I tell him about my father? I’m confused. This is the only medium I can use to reach out without being seen. I need your help now…..