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Finding a good woman is something that ended with our parents’ generation - Girls are just monsters?

Girls are just monsters. We understand that in this day and age, it is tough to find a good man, but believe me, at least for you girls, there is still hope. For us men, to find a good woman, that is something that ended with our parents’ generation.

Good girls have become extinct like the dinosaurs, and all we are left with are liars, hypocrites and cute monsters.They do not know anything about honesty and truth be told, it is just business to them.

See, I was walking through a mall the other day, minding my business when I saw this really nice pair of shoes — lady shoes. I thought to myself, “Its been really long since I last gave my girl a gift. These shoes would look really nice on her”.

So, I walked in, emptied my wallet and walked out with the pair — a really costly unplanned gift. I knew she would be thrilled, and indeed when I gave them to her, she was over the moon with excitement. She immediately put them on, pranced and strutted around the room like a proud peacock.

Looking at her, I was contented; it was money well-spent, her reaction was rewarding. I left feeling like I had done my part in making the world a happier place, one person at a time.

So you can imagine the shock and disbelief I felt when I went to see her the other day and I overheard her telling her friend how I had bought her the fakest shoes this side of the equator. No, in fact, on the continent! I was just about to enter her room when I heard them laugh out loud. Curiosity and a feeling of great despair made me hold on a bit and listen first.

She went on to describe how I had strutted in like I had just bought her a brand new car, and had instead handed her bu shoes. But of course, she had to pretend to be pleased because, “bambi, the guy was sooo proud of himself. Ela, I do not even know what to do with them. I think I am going to give them to the cleaning lady, and I will tell him that I was robbed, and the robber took the shoes because they were sooo awesome....” And they laughed and laughed and I died a little inside.

Something thudded, and I imagined it was her throwing the shoes against a wall. And they laughed again. Her friend suggested she just leaves them there, for at least a month then one day just throw them away. But, my girl asked, “What if he asks me to wear them, like when we are going out?” Won’t I simply die being seen in those things?
And they laughed again, till they were breathless. I decided that perhaps this was not the right time for me to visit her, because suddenly I did not feel like I loved her anymore. But later, I would have gotten over it. See, we men have adapted to getting love when we get it, and not taking things for granted. I got my hand off the door handle, and walked off.

True, the shoes disappeared after three weeks, and when I asked, she told me her young sister had “kidnapped them because they were so cute”. Now, how exactly do shoes get kidnapped?

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